As has been my way for many years, I have a great idea, go in full force thinking I’m going to change the world and then, nothing. I freeze, I start thinking “This is a stupid idea, who would read the nonsense you write, who will care?”

The self-deprecating talk takes over and what was a positive path to walk is turned into one of London’s roads with speed humps followed by deep potholes. It’s when I disappear down the pothole I usually tend to give up and the all too familiar pattern of shame and self-loathing starts to whizz around my brain like a goldfish in a bowl. But…. It’s Friday 23rd of May 2025; there is a parade as Spurs won a trophy for Europe, or something, this gives me inspiration to try again.

I mean, if Spurs fans can persevere, why can’t I? So, here I am again, although I’m wondering what in the hell I should write about. Topic, theme, trends, niche, words that I see when thinking about writing a blog, pick something and go with it.

For my ADHD brain, that is almost impossible to comprehend; it wants to know everything, ask many questions, and feel every emotion; it needs to be fed. “Feed me!!” the brain said to the man. My niche, the brain, is not that niche anymore. Loads of information are out there, lots of self-help books, and people talking about mental health and opening up about emotions, depression, and other mental health issues. This is great! Right?

With this newfound openness comes a profound realization, raising the crucial question, “Am I truly okay? Do I require assistance?” Seeking help for mental health is an arduous journey, characterized by the new telephone triage system, an initial appointment with a nurse who may subsequently refer you to your GP. Obtaining a GP appointment is notoriously difficult, often resulting in a wait of up to three weeks, only to be advised to make lifestyle changes and engage in exercise while beginning antidepressants, which may initially exacerbate feelings of distress and contribute to weight gain. I advocate for healthy lifestyle changes, although, its not what you want to hear when in crisis.

The process of obtaining a referral for psychological assistance is characterized by prolonged waiting periods, followed by additional delays when a psychologist finally establishes contact, as their resources are often overextended. When the appointment is finally secured, patients are typically informed that they will receive only six 50-minute sessions. This is insufficient for individuals grappling with significant emotional burdens; six sessions merely scratch the surface. In my experience, it required weekly sessions for over a year to engage with my varied inner selves, acknowledge their needs, find a semblance of harmony within, and enact meaningful changes in my surroundings.

Thinking back to my post on the mind-body connection, how the environment affects the brain, and the impact on physical health, I have a life equation. In the immortal words of Tilly…”bare with”

Good environment = Good mental health. The gold standard! What we all want and deserve.

In reality…

Bad environment = bad mental health + over stretched health service (lack of funding/staff) + long wait times + insufficient psychological help when you get an appointment =lack of understanding of self = no needs met (think maslows hierarchy of needs) = no positive changes to environment = FUCKED or, more politely. A continuation of poor mental health.

Now throw in children…bare with

Bad environment and mental health = changes to genetics = altered genetics or epigenetics = altered genes passed to children = children suffer same negative environment and mental health = ongoing cycle of poor mental and physical health.